Au natural
by mkh2
Summary: Ever wonder why in those packages of weekday underwear, they always leave out the Sunday? Vegeta finds out about Goku’s dealings with the infamous underwear… Earth customs are so strange. Includes a note for “Nooo!” readers at the end.


Au natural

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a Goku and Vegeta buddy fic

by

mkh2

~

Disclaimer: Not that I want to admit it but, yes, I'm a poor little college student, and, no, I don't DragonballZ. If I did, I would have gone on a yearlong break from college… I'm only twenty and it's my third year, and dang, I'm bored. DragonballZ and related characters all belong to Akira Toriyama, lucky guy. But maybe I can get him to give me Bejee since he doesn't like Vegeta all that much. (Can't say much for his taste…)

~

Ever wonder why in those packages of weekday underwear, they always leave out the Sunday? Vegeta finds out about Goku's dealings with the infamous underwear… Earth customs are so strange. Includes a note for "Nooo!" readers at the end.

~

" " – denotes speech

' ' – denotes thinking.

~

**au na·tu·rel ** "O-"na-t&-'rel, adjective French 1817 – without covering; nude

-from… can't remember which website .

~

"Kakarrotto, where are you? What's taking so long – didn't we agree at 10:10 for our spar today?" Vegeta fairly howled in the middle of the Son's family room. Chichi glared at Vegeta in the middle of picking up some of Gohan's extra study books.

"Do you really _have_ to yell?" Chichi grumbled.

Vegeta smirked at her. "Why of course I do, _harpy_, it's motivation… same kind you do to Goku after all and it does seem to work."

Chichi's eyes narrowed. "That's because I'm his _wife_."

Vegeta rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "Pff – yeah, right."

Chichi let out a loud sigh and threw her hands up. "Fine! I don't even know why I bother with you." Grabbing the large wicker basket brimming with books, she walked out the room.

Vegeta crossed his eyes and made a face at her. "Nyeh nyeh nyeh!"

"I heard that! Keep that face up long enough and it'll stick that way!" Chichi's voice called from the kitchen.

Vegeta froze and dropped his hands from pulling his ears and eyelids and ran to the mirror in a panic. "Does it really?" He decided not to test it.

~

Vegeta groaned, sprawled out on the large couch in the family room. When he lied in the center, he discovered his head and feet didn't touch either end of it. Gohan, Kakarrotto's whelp, said it was because Bulma bought it for Kakarrotto as a belated wedding present, measured to Kakarrotto's height specifications. This lead Vegeta to grumble for around twenty minutes, cursing Kakarrotto for being too tall.

"2 bottles of milk on the wall, two bottles of milk… it's taking forever… where's Kakarrotto? Take one down, pass it around, 1 bottle of milk on the wall…" Vegeta, finally tired of waiting, decided to go upstairs to see what is taking that darn peasant of his so long.

…But first, a good stretch.

~

He blinked. He blinked again. Somehow, Vegeta never thought Kakarrotto's room could be so… feminine. Must be because of the harpy. As he stood in the center of the room, he looked carefully at his surroundings. Rose-colored bedspread. White and red nightstands with gold knobs on both sides of the bed. Large white bureau with looking glass, draped with a red cloth that hung down either end, with gold and jade green trimming. The top of the bureau was littered with family pictures. The windowsill also held many such pictures. The closet was closed, white with red and gold kanji meaning love, courage, and other such things… things Kakarrotto might like, around a sprawling green dragon – the one from the dragonballs. There was a bookstand littered with books, scrolls, some potted plants, and, on a small velvet red pillow, was the four-star dragonball.

"What do you think, Vegeta? Like my room?" 

Vegeta whirled on his heel, heart nearly leaping out of his chest, quite startled because he never noticed that gentle warrior sneak up behind him. Didn't even notice the ki coming closer. He figured he didn't notice the footsteps because Goku wasn't wearing any shoes, but the ki? In fact, Goku was only wearing a towel; it was slipping off his hips so Goku had to hold on to it.

"Uh, yeah, I guess." Vegeta mumbled, embarrassed at having been caught snooping… he hadn't meant to, he meant to knock down the bathroom door but was kinda sidetracked. 'Wait, it's not technically snooping until you start going through their drawers and stuff is it?' Vegeta wrinkled up his nose in thought. 'Of course it isn't,' he consoled himself. He, Vegeta, the saiyajin no ouji, a snoop? Never!

"Thanks! I decorated this room myself. I thought that the closet was a particularly nice touch." Goku beamed and opened the closet, rummaging through his clothes. 

Vegeta sweat dropped – 'Go figure' – then stared at the rows of Kakarrotto's orange and blue gi lined up neatly in the closet… doesn't he wear anything else? Sure, there were a few other clothes in the closet too, suits and stuff, but Vegeta had certainly never seen Goku wear any of them…

He blinked. "Hey, Kakarrotto, why didn't you pick out your clothes before getting in the shower, huh?"

Goku tossed a grin over his shoulder at Vegeta as he picked out his clothes with one hand before tossing them onto the bed. Pants, undershirt, tank, belt, boots, armbands… "I was so excited about trying out our new shower I hadn't thought about it."

"You mean you spent that whole time in the shower?!"

Goku scrunched up his nose thoughtfully, looking at the ceiling. "Ah… yeah, guess I did."

"Two and a half hours?"

Goku nodded. "Yes."

Vegeta slapped his forehead then glanced over at the clothes lying scattered on the bed.

"Where are your socks and undergarments?" Vegeta asked, blinking thoughtfully.

"Not in my closet, over in my nightstand," Goku nodded to the nightstand by the bathroom door.

"Why didn't you pick out your underwear first and put it on? You wouldn't have to worry about that stupid towel of yours." Vegeta rubbed the bridge of his nose. White, with the dragonballs all over it… sounds like something Goku picked.

"It's not a stupid towel – Chi-chan made it for me. Anyways, I can't get any underwear," Goku commented as he plucked out some socks and grabbed his clothes under one arm before kicking the door open, his other hand still clutching the towel.

"Why not? Ran out? Need to do laundry?" Vegeta started in surprise.

"No, I have plenty of underwear, but…" Goku trailed off, thinking. "Here, look." He pulled the drawer open again – hard to do one handed with both arms full – and gestured to Vegeta to come over.

Curious, Vegeta walked over and peered in, bright red (he doesn't even like doing his own laundry – underwear is embarrassing stuff!) Plenty of underwear, but…

"See what I mean?" 

Vegeta stared. "Day of the week underwear – boxer-style. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday… Two each. What's the problem?" Vegeta looked up at Goku.

Groaning, Goku slapped his forehead and pointed at the calendar hung over the nightstand that Vegeta hadn't noticed (decorated with little dragonballs). "It's Sunday!"

Vegeta blinked. "So?"

"But Veggie! There's no Sunday!"

Vegeta stared, baffled. "What do you mean, no Sunday?"

Goku pointed into the drawer. "Look!"

Vegeta looked into the drawer again. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday… Vegeta blinked once, then again. Goku was right: no Sunday.

"Why isn't there any Sunday?"

"I don't know, there just isn't – nobody makes them." Goku shrugged, about to reach for the clothes that he had dropped back onto the bed.

"So, what are you supposed to wear instead." Vegeta frowned down at the blasted undergarments. He never picked Goku for boxers… wouldn't they bunch up in his gi during sparring?

"Well, I don't know about everybody else, but I go 'au natural,'" Goku grabbed his clothes and rushed into the bathroom.

"Au natural?" Vegeta called.

"Yeah, you know… well, you know." Goku called back.

"No, I don't know." Vegeta flopped baack onto the bed and shut the nightstand drawer.

"Ah, um… no underwear." Goku stepped back out, fully dressed. "I'm ready to spar now, Geta."

Vegeta looked straight ahead, a couple shades paler.

"Ah, Vedge-kun, you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, but I don't feel like sparring anymore… how about we spar another day?" Vegeta asked, leaping lightly off the bed and walking out of the room.

Goku scratched his head thoughtfully. "Sure, I guess, when?" He asked as he started to follow Vegeta.

Vegeta paused in mid-step out the door. 

"Any day so long as it isn't Sunday."

~Owari~

~To be continued? Who knows, I sure don't.~

Blinks at above. Well, that's interesting, I think.

Don't take my description of Goku's room seriously. Truth of the matter is, I don't remember what Goku's room looks like – a lot of blues and green-blues, I think, but I wanted to go with reds and golds because of the coloring of Goku's gi… some of the pictures of him in the gi had it red, others orange, and often with bits of gold, and other characters would comment his gi on being, alternately, red or orange. Beside, that color scheme looks good on white, and I'm pretty sure that much of the furniture was white in color, and the walls were white too.

~

A little note on "Nooo!"

I'm guessing that some people are a bit surprised at Goku being "the right size" for the bride's wedding gown… Actually, just before I had typed it up, I was thinking how silly it was when, flipping through some old tapes of mine, I found an old recording of a clip from an very, very old America's Funniest Videos episode and on it was a happy little wedding party. The bride was blonde and rather buff looking, probably near six feet tall, (muscular enough to be apparent through her gown, I noticed, but not grotesquely so) and the groom… he was probably five-foot-two. He was short and slightly chubby but still cute. The reason it was on Funniest Videos? Instead of the groom carrying the bride over the threshold, the bride practically sashayed to the groom, picked him up in her arms, and waltzed out the door. Very cute. ^.~ See, just goes to show that brides can be buff and beautiful, which this bride definitely was. 

~

1:44 –3:32 p.m. October 3rd, 2003


End file.
